Berkeley: miscellany
S and I broke up. I may have also temporarily exhausted my ability to think about that topic, so I shan’t elaborate. I moved to Event Horizon more permanently, though not so permanently that my tiny closet isn’t half full of someone else’s things, nor so ‘moved’ as to have substantially more than a couple of bags and a plant of my own with me. It’s funny how carrying a bag and bedding and a plant a few blocks away is a pretty insignificant action, and leaving your home perhaps forever is a momentous action, and yet they are sometimes the same.
In other news, now that it is legal in California, I tried marijuana for a second time in my life. It continued to be basically terrible, without even much of a hint of what about it might be redeeming if I took a different amount or was a different person. The thing that was closest to being good was that it made me laugh a lot. But I already laugh a lot, and this was closer to ‘laugh so much that my chest seems in danger of imploding’, which actually makes laughing less fun. Also it didn’t feel strongly related to the thing actually being funny–it was part of an ongoing spooky sense that my outward behavior was becoming uncoupled from my inside experience. Or, even more uncoupled than usual. Plus, I had to avoid things that were even mildly funny, so that I wouldn’t laugh too much at them. Which made things on net less funny!
Aside from that, it seemed a bit like constantly having woken up in my body a second ago. And also a bit like having a panic attack.
In other news, previously my friends and I made this dating site, but we put less effort into it than required to make it entirely satisfactory (warning—if you log into it, there is no obvious way to log out, and your friends who use it may interpret this as you being unwilling to date them, unless you write a note saying that you aren’t actually using it. On the upside, if you log into it you may find true love, or at least coordinate true love in a low risk way, if you have already located its potential). Now it looks like we will hand it off to some other people who will look after it!